It has been nearly three weeks since the last update. It seems as though so much has happened, and yet so little has happened. It is an interesting feeling, to have no clue what is going to happen next or how your family will be provided for, but at the same time, to wake up every morning with complete peace and an expectant joy for what is to come.
Our last post was more of a look at remaining faithful and focused when your idea of the vision changes. The problem with God giving us a vision is that we always put our own human interpretations into it, and before we know it, we have plastered our own human ideas and plans all over the perfect plan and vision that God has laid out for us. The hardest prayer for me to pray is for God to close a door He does not want us to go through when I really want to go through that particular door.
In the end we know that His plan for our lives is far superior to our own, but that does not stop us from continually trying to wrest away control. This is especially hard in times where patience is the only avenue. This has been our avenue for the past three weeks. There have been some highs and lows, but patience has been the name of the game.
It is a challenge to come down off of the mountaintop experience with God ready to go and full of vigor and passion, and then have to sit and wait. But this is part of it. This is where the vision is refined and perfected. In the stillness, the quiet rest, the valley. To take control of the vision and push it forward on our own timetable is foolishness, to learn to wait on God and maintain the vision as God refines it before your eyes is what is necessary. If you can have that kind of patience, then I promise you, just as we have seen over the past three weeks, it is as if God is custom tailoring that vision to the needs you did not even know you had.
There are so many times when we just want to go it alone, to take the reigns and decide that if no one else is going to do it, well, by golly, I will get it done. This is the American Spirit. It is a great thing, it accomplishes things and drives greatness, it pushes us to excel. But it can be disastrous when used to force something apart from God’s will and timing. What I am learning through this time, is that we have to hold on to that spirit, that drive, while at the same time, stop it in its tracks and allow God to prepare the way before we push to far ahead and make a mess.
I see it as an analogy of God building a bridge over a dangerous river. The more bold the vision, the more dangerous the river. How foolish would it be to jump on your horse of drive and spirit and run full speed across the three feet of bridge that have been laid and hope for the best after that? Unless your horse can walk on water (which with our God is certainly possible) this is utter foolishness. We must learn to patiently wait for the next part of the bridge to be built, and then we need to hook up our horse of drive and spirit to a wagon of supporters that will get behind what we are doing and slow us down if we get any more wild ideas about sprinting ahead.
So whatever your vision, be patient, wait for it, and when the time comes, it will be custom tailored to the exact specifications that God knew you would require.
An update on where we are now, we are looking at two organizations and have applied with both. We are trusting that Lord willing, we will be on the missions field next year some time. Once we have been affirmed by the organization that we are going to go with, we will begin full fledged fundraising.
We should hopefully know more specifics in the next two weeks.
Also on another note, Anna is ready to pop! Kai is just being lazy. Our doctor is telling us any day, any minute could be the time, so our bags are packed and I am almost to the point of sleeping fully dressed!
So hopefully by the next post, we will have more details for you on the organization as well as a new member of our family!